


Time Can Heal (But This Won't)

by Abundantly_Sure



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Don't kill me I listened to the song and got the idea and wrote it, F/F, I am so sorry, TW: implied suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21819088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abundantly_Sure/pseuds/Abundantly_Sure
Summary: Kara hovered in the air looking into Lena’s apartment. She was close enough to see the brunette look up from the piece of paper she was holding, glass of whiskey in her other hand. They made eye contact and Lena’s hard gaze faltered just the slightest, before she turned on her heel and walked deeper into the apartment, almost out of Kara’s view.Kara knew it was now or never.
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 20
Kudos: 149





	Time Can Heal (But This Won't)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is super angsty and I'm really sorry about that.
> 
> I don't own any of the lyrics in this fic, but I do suggest listening to Lewis Capaldi's "Before You Go" while reading this.

Kara hovered in the air looking into Lena’s apartment. She was close enough to see the brunette look up from the piece of paper she was holding, glass of whiskey in her other hand. They made eye contact and Lena’s hard gaze faltered just the slightest, before she turned on her heel and walked deeper into the apartment, almost out of Kara’s view. 

Kara knew it was now or never.

She landed on Lena’s balcony softly, before walking up to the door that led inside the apartment and knocking gently. 

Lena turned around from pouring herself another glass of whiskey to look at Kara through the floor to ceiling windows.

“Please,” Kara said, desperation leaking through in her voice. She needed to talk to Lena, she needed to tell her how she felt. She needed to apologize,  _ truly _ apologize. 

Lena looked away, and for a moment Kara thought she was just going to ignore her until she went away, but a minute later Lena turned back around and walked towards the balcony door.

She slid it open and looked at Kara with less iciness than she expected.

“What do you want, Supergirl?” The disuse of Kara’s real name still stung.

“I need...I need to tell you,” she gulped. This was harder than she expected. “I need to talk to you. I need to tell you something. I just, please Lena, I just need you to listen.”

Lena let out a breath that sounded more exhausted than anything, before stepping to the side to let Kara in.

Once Kara was inside, Lena looked at her expectantly.

“Well, it’s practically midnight, Supergirl. What did you need to tell me so badly that you had to come here and disrupt my riveting night?” Lena said with obvious sarcasm dripping from her mouth.

“Lena  I..I know you’re mad. You have every right to be. I know I shouldn’t have kept this secret from you for so long, but I needed to so I could keep you safe, and I needed to for my own selfish reasons because I was so afraid to lose you, and I know that doesn’t make it right. I know. I do, but it’s the truth. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you.”

Lena scoffed and took a sip of her drink, “Well, how did that work out for you, Supergirl?”

“It didn’t, obviously,” Kara said, her words becoming thick with emotion.

**_I fell by the wayside like everyone else_**   
**_I hate_** ** _you,_** ** _I hate you, I hate you but I was just kidding myself_**   
**_Our every moment, I start to replace_**   
**_'Cause_** ** _now that they're gone all I hear were the words that I needed to say_**

“It didn’t work at all, and it was the biggest mistake of my life practically, and I’m  ** so ** sorry, but you don’t understand how much I care about you. You don’t understand how I feel about you, and I think if you did then maybe you would be able to understand why I was...am...so scared to lose you.”

Lena’s eyes hardened at that.   
  
**_When you hurt under the surface_**   
**_Like troubled water running cold_**   
**_Well, time can heal but this won't_**

She set her jaw  in an attempt to look intimidating before saying, “Supergirl, I don’t know where you’re going with this, but I can assure you nothing you say will make me understand.”

“I love you,” Kara blurted out before all the courage left her body. She saw the cogs turning in Lena’s head and quickly said, “I love you more than I thought possible and I-”

“Stop,” Lena cut her off. Her unemotional, straight-faced façade melting at a rapid pace.

“Do  not..do ** not  ** go there. Do not say that. You-” tears  starting forming in Lena’s eyes, and Kara didn’t anticipate this being the direction the conversation went. “You don’t get to tell me things like that anymore.” 

**_So, before you go_**   
**_Was there something I could've said to make your_** ** _heart beat_** ** _better?_**   
**_If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather_**   
**_So, before you go_**   
**_Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?_**   
**_It kills me how your mind could make you feel so worthless_**   
**_So, before you go_**

Lena’s voice started raising as she walked closer to Kara, anger now evident behind her eyes.

“You do  _ not _ get to stand there and tell me something as big as that after everything you’ve done. After everything that’s happened!”

Kara started backing up until her back hit the w all , but Lena followed until she was a mere 6 or so inches in front of Kara’s face.

  
**_Was never the right time whenever you called_**   
**_Went little by little by little until there was nothing at all_**   
**_Our every moment, I start to replay_**   
**_But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face_**

“After everything you come in here and you tell me you love me?” Lena spat incredulously.

“Lena-”

“NO, Supergirl. You betrayed me. I killed my own brother for you! Everything was always for you, and you betrayed me anyway because you didn’t trust me enough to let me in on this huge part of your life for  ** years ** of our friendship. Years when I was letting you in and letting my resolve crumble because of your  _ warmth  _ and  _ earnestnes _ s,” she sneered while saying the last two adjectives.

“I wish I could have told you..told you both things in such different circumstances,” Kara practically whispered   
  
**_When you hurt under the surface_**   
**_Like troubled water running cold_**   
**_Well, time can heal but this won't_**

Lena choked out a sob after Kara’s last sentence, and it pained Kara even more than she thought it would, so she did the only thing she could think of with Lena that close, and wrapped her arms around her.

Lena immediately tried to recoil, but Kara was stronger.

“Let me go!” Lena screamed into Kara’s chest.

“I hate you. I **hate** you!” her voice breaking again as she pushed against Kara.   
  
**_Would we be better off by_** ** _now_**   
**_If I'd have let my walls come down_**   
**_Maybe I guess we'll never know_**   
**_You know, you kno_** ** _w_**

Kara held Lena until she stopped struggling and was just a shaking ball of tears.

Kara leaned her forehead against the top of Lena’s head while she raked her fingers through her hair “shh- ing ” her and telling her it’s okay. 

Eventually Lena calmed down enough and Kara let her go. Lena only stepped back an inch or so before looking Kara directly in the eyes.

“I hate you so much. Everyone in my life has betrayed me. Everyone in my life has lied to me or turned on me or looked at me like I was a pathogen just because of my last name, and I thought you were different. Sometimes I still think you’re different, but I can’t take that risk. Not again. It hurts me this much because I let my walls come down with you, Kara.”

Kara’s breath hitched at the use of her actual name.

“I let my walls come down and,” Lena broke eye contact and looked off to the side before steeling her face once again in the famous Luthor Fashion and looking back at Kara.

“I let my walls come down, and I fell in love with you, but that doesn’t matter now. You aren’t who I thought you were. You think of me just like everyone else. You used me to get what you needed, and never trusted me, even when I confided in you about  things I never told another soul. You need to leave.”

“Wait, Lena, no!”

“LEAVE, Supergirl,” Lena all but yells as she points to the balcony door.

“You came here to say what you needed to say, and it’s been said. Leave.”

So Kara did. She walked out the way she came in, took a last look at Lena (who was once again nursing her glass of whiskey ), and flew back home. 

She didn’t see the way Lena looked after her before falling to the floor, her body racking with sobs.   
  
**_Before you go_**   
**_Was there something I could've said to make your_** ** _heart beat_** ** _better?_**   
**_If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather_**   
**_So, before you go_**   
**_Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?_**   
**_It kills me how your mind could make you feel so worthless_**   
**_So, before you go_**

She got the call from Alex at 8:37am the following morning. She doesn’t remember much, but she remembers the only important part of the call: Lena is gone. 

Jess found her in her apartment after Lena didn’t show up for work that morning. Not text, no call, no email, nothing. It was very unlike the brunette to just not show up for work, so her assistant got worried and went to check on her and, well...there’s no need for the details, but she’s gone.

Lena is gone, and Kara can’t fucking breathe as she lays on the floor of her kitchen shaking and sobbing. 

Once again, Kara’s entire world has been taken from her.


End file.
